I wish to help my younger colleagues avoid following my own way, which leads to failure. I have not done what you should to win, and therefore I have become a loser ; however my experience could become useful for others if they are made aware of it. Because of my failure I am a very unimportant person now, so I have much time to think of my mistakes. I have put a skull on my desktop for reflection, and carefully studied the true laws of success. Young man, young lady, do not fall into the errors of my youth! Take heed of my experience!
Here are the true laws of success, as I have learnt from experience.
1. Choice of area. Choose a scientific speciality that handles a lot of money. Avoid cultural or social studies, philosophy, pure mathematics, astrophysics, theoretical physics, etc.
2. Choice of community. The choice of the community, i.e. people who work in the same area, is the most important factor. Unfortunately it is not possible to make this choice, absolutely, and a great part of chance is unavoidable. Choose a team or a laboratory whose leaders are renowned within their community, but be careful that their fame is endurable. You must be aware of the following realities: a) the best thing is not to change the community you joined during your early career; b) if it appears later that your community was ill-chosen, then change, but this will be costly; c) use the reputation of your leaders as far as you can; bear in mind that these leaders must have a social activity in their community and actually influence in their area; if they have not, there will be no benefit for you.
3. Choice of your subject. In all cases always choose your subject in the current trends. But this should be done with all the members of your local group together; never choose alone.
4. Strategy for publishing. The number of your publications must be as large as possible, in the most recognized journals. The intrinsic quality of your papers is of no interest, the only interest lies in the recognized quality of the journals. Furthermore, more than fifty percent of the referees are incompetent or have no time for actually reading the manuscripts (this rate is higher for average journals, and can be lower for the best ones).
These facts have the following practical consequences:
a) Whilst writing papers with intrinsic quality is more time consuming, it will be more advantageous to publish many average papers, and benefit from the reputation of the old leaders.
b) The fact that a lot of referees are incompetent must be used for publishing second-rate or third-rate papers in the best journals; if you have no chance, you will be evaluated by competent referees and refused, but it does not matter: submit the same manuscript to another of the best journals, and so on until you fall into the hands of incompetent but favorable referees. The better the reputation of your leaders, the faster this procedure.
c) To produce scientific results and to publish them, though second- or third-rate, needs at least one year for one single person; this is absolutely uncompetitive. So it is of vital importance that you do as little as possible by yourself, and rather use your time for social activity, which will allow you to be a co-signatory of the work of other members of your group. The best strategy will be to claim multi-field research and to keep in touch with many teams, without wasting much time for effective work.
5. Be a leader. Aim as high as possible from the beginning: your constant purpose ought to be a leading place. A technical work in which you would write computer programs, arrange experimental setups, or perform experiments is allowed at most for your thesis, but no longer: not only does it need too much time and cause delays in your career, but it will be interpreted by your colleagues (especially the leading ones) as inaptness for authority. Therefore it is important to prove to everybody that you are a born leader. While your fellows continue to make science, begin immediately after your Ph. D. keeping busy managing projects, public relations, or research policy. Take care that no paper on the subjects you are concerned with is published without your name.
If there is no leading place for the moment, create a scientific association (for example the west american association for the advancement of computer science, or the south european association for optical fibers). This will allow you to appear as "X, president of this association", and not as "Dr. X, researcher".
Hurry up: thirty years ago, an army of obscure workers was controlled by few managers; in thirty years, a few workers may be controlled by an army of obscure managers.
6. Eliminate rivals. Up to now my hints were suitable for a beginner. If you take my advice, you should be head of something by thirty - thirty-five. Then you will have to present the work of your subordinates everywhere in the world. For this purpose it is important that you attend all the national or international conferences on your subject. Use the fame of the old leaders to enhance your own reputation, but if one of your young colleagues is well-known too (for example because he has discovered some important scientific result or method), then conspire - by fair means or foul - to be the one charged to present his work. Generally a good scientist will consider it disruptive if he has to travel while his current experiment or computer program is not finished; but you can make capital out of this, whilst the good scientist will be on the way to obscurity. If you keep this strategy, you will be the only person in your lab the other specialists in the field will remember. If you are unable to present a work (because you do not understand it, which will happen more and more) then let a competent subordinate present it, but be careful that this competent person who is coming with you is never the same person twice, so that the other participants of the conferences remember only you.
7. Never recognize any failure. In a scientists life, it often happens that some projects fail. This cannot be avoided. But an important rule for career success is, never to speak about a project that has failed. If this happens, forget it immediately; in a scientific community there is no memory of the past. Dont try to pull a fast one. If anybody lays stress upon the failure (for example because he was sincerely interested in the project or because he is trying to injure you), deny it and insist without hesitation that the project has been achieved with full success. This will have no effect if you are alone with your interlocutor; but if other persons are present, at worst they will remember that both viewpoints exist and, in neutral witnesses' memory, only the positive one will be left after a few months; for opponents the negative one will dominate, but there is every likelihood that this will be interpreted as professional jealousy (and you can easily manage this).
8. Nurse your public. During the conferences, manage as often as possible to be with the leading personalities. Avoid tackling the technical aspects of your subjects. There are three reasons for this: a) you will soon discover that science managers find such subjects annoying and just suitable for obscure workers; b) you could say something false that could prove your incompetence c) you could waste time which you could be using to your advantage in gaining support for your application to a good place, and any good tips. In the ordinary course of things, you will never need to go below the surface, and you will only have to master the syntax of the keywords. However there could be some important though rare exceptions, in which you may get the chance to outshine your rivals; so be ready for such cases. For example: it may once happen that you intercept some gloomy glance by one of the old leaders who grew up before the reign of managers, as he sees how every competence is sinking in decay; then take three weeks to study his favourite subject [but just enough for showing off] and appear in his eyes as the last hope of true science.
In the meantime do not neglect the relations with the obscure workers: you can always make capital out of their competence; so it is important for your future career that you appear open-minded, attractive, and not over-bearing.
9. The apotheosis. Once you are one of the leading personalities in your field, apply for all the most prestigious places in the universities or science agencies. Make money from your reputation. Manage to appear on TV and in newspapers. Try to obtain responsibilities in your government. Publish books on your field: you do not need to write them, it suffices to put together copies of the work of your subordinates. Once you are awarded prizes, write a book about your life.
10. My last, but not least advice. Do not believe that you have been a great scientist, as were Newton, Euler, Maxwell, Pasteur, Einstein, or Bohr: Be aware of the fact that you never rose above mediocrity and that you are lost in the gigantic crowd of science-managers. You have merely taken advantage of today's Big Science, in which the level of specialization has made people unable to distinguish between knowledge and ignorance. Not once in your life have you experienced the transcendency of discovering a fact that no human being had faced before.
A violation of this rule may bring you into derision and be prejudicial to your image.
These ten rules of success must be completed by the following meta-rule:
Always apply these ten rules but never admit their existence [to state them is the privilege of losers]. If anybody alludes to them, reject it immediatly as pessimistic and evil-minded.
So, young lady, young man, this advice should allow you to avoid all the possible errors.
However, to keep on course will be difficult, because many elements cannot be controlled.
In any concrete situation of life, you will see that the previous hints can only be used
if the situation is well analysed, and for this you will need a good head. I know some who
have tried to apply these rules, but were too stupid to do so well, and just made
themselves look ridiculous: indeed the other members of your community, if clever enough
(and clever people are present everywhere, though scarce), will recognise this technique
which has been known from time immemorial. If you are less clever, there will be no
pardon.
I wish you a good career.
This is my comment six months later (december 2, 1998) : I have received comments about this page.
Some find it exaggerated or pessimistic, but this is the everlasting excuse of those who take advantage of the system : at the same time they are luring young people with bright prospects for their own interest. Young lady, young man, be careful not to get gulled !
Others (generally young doctors who are in search of a job) have actually experienced the aforementioned laws ; they did not find the text excessive.
A third kind of remarks emphasizes the fact that "most scientists are honest" or "you have a prejudice against managers, but we need them". I agree ! Most scientists, including managers, are honest. And today's science needs managers. I did not mean that every scientist is a cynical careerist, but only that the Big Science System has become a gigantic, uncontrollable machinery that is now subject to the laws I listed above. This system will more and more show favouritism towards cynical careerists and this is a dangerous tendency.
My faulty english has been improved by natives. Thank you Sarah, thank you Elizabeth.